Finding the Right School

Last year, as Alex struggled with boredom in our local public school, I wrote about the importance of being bored. Whenever my children tell me they are bored and then ask to turn on the TV or computer, I secretly chuckle and usually decline their request. I know that if I get out of earshot and leave the screens black, they will soon dive into creative play. When that play tumbles into the backyard, I am even happier that they had moments of boredom. But when it comes to school, that boredom needs to be monitored, because once it turns into disappointment and anger at school, something needs to be done. In school last year, Alex was beyond bored. He lost all interest in going to school. Among other issues, he was required to sit through the math lessons (his favorite subject) despite scoring perfect scores on all the pretests. In other words, he had to sit through weeks of lessons on math he had mastered, complete endless worksheets in class and at home, and feel his voice was not being heard. Like all bright kids whose needs are not met, he lost faith in the educational system. If I could go back in time, I would have pulled him out of school by Christmas. When we had the opportunity to move him to a private school in April, we should have. He experienced a horrible bullying incident last spring that would have been avoided if we had moved him. But, the incident solidified our decision to send both kids to private school. For months, we had entertained the idea of private school and so we toured a number of them until we found the one that had the right feel. Alex and Izzy only needed one visit to fall in love with this school. The cost of a private school education is a tremendous burden for most families, and one that relatively few would consider taking on. For that reason, we remained on the fence about whether to go down this road. But watching Alex's slow decline last year, I knew we had to find a way to make it work. We applied for a scholarship, reduced our spending by putting projects and vacations on an indefinite hold, and I went back to work full time. So, now we are in November, with several months of school under our belts and the positive change in both kids is astounding. Izzy, who struggled with the craziness of the Common Core math curriculum, is excelling in math and has improved her reading, writing and public speaking skills tremendously. The expectations she has for herself-academically and civilly-have skyrocketed. And as for Alex, simply put, he is happy. Where his old school forced him into a box, his current school has opened the lid and encouraged him to find his voice. Where his old school "required" that he sit through the 2nd grade math curriculum, despite his high math scores, his current school is taking the time to test him, to find the right math level for him to slip into. Their math solution? Have Alex take all the post-tests for all the units, starting with 3rd grade and stopping only when he hits a level where he hasn't shown mastery. He has mastered 3rd grade, is nearly done with 4th grade and will move on to the 5th grade post-tests next week. Last week, he had a vacation day and so came to school with me. To keep him busy, he visited the 6th grade math class and took the 6th grade course pretests. He scored a 75% and an 88% on the course pretests. The next highest score for the entire 6th grade course pretest was a 55%. I can't imagine the thought process of Alex's 2nd grade teacher (last year), forcing him into the 2nd grade math box when he had the ability to show mastery of the 6th grade math curriculum. I don't see the problem as a public school vs. private school mentality, I only see it as an issue of finding the right school. As a public school English teacher, I try to bring Alex's experiences with school into my classroom. I work to challenge the kids who would otherwise sit in the class, bored and angry. It takes a lot of work, since I have 80 kids to worry about, but I see each one as an individual. I work so that my classroom is the right classroom. Finding the right school is hard work, but it is crucial to a child's development. Alex lost last year. Not only can he never get that time back, he is left with terrible memories of bullying, boredom and sadness. I only hope that he can use those experiences as I do, to help shape a positive experience for someone else, now that he has found his place in school.

Run Baby Run

We held our second annual Run Baby Run Baby Ultra this past Saturday-what an awesome day! We had about 60 runners this year, doubled from last year, raised over $6000 for pediatric brain injury research and had a great time. With about a dozen prizes for runners, fundraisers, youngest runner, and raffle winners, there are chances to win for all. If you missed it this year, join us next year: www.runbabyrunbabyultra.com.

Meeting the Needs of Twice Gifted

If you have been following this blog, you will realize that I am usually writing about best practices for a child with a brain injury and meeting the needs of a gifted learner. Alex is both, twice gifted. The great difficulty with twice gifted students is that most public schools are not designed to meet the needs of gifted and talented students. Further, some teachers are blinded by a child's disability and do not recognize gifted and talented abilities, even when a parent advocates for his child. Some states have laws to protect gifted students that make it much easier for parents and schools to meet the needs of an above grade level student. Unfortunately, despite cries for change, MA does not. When Alex hit second grade last year, already working on 5th grade math, we met a wall of opposition to meet his gifted needs (on both ends) so fortified, that we eventually decided there was only one option for us, to leave public school. We could not afford to have another missed year. If your child is gifted and his needs are not met, he will suffer. Alex sunk into a depression and completely gave up on school. We tried to embrace boredom, and hoped it might inspire him, and to some degree it did. But it also made him so angry and bitter about going to school every day, that it was ultimately not a positive situation. Boredom, frustration and acting out are common experiences for gifted children who are not being challenged at the height of their zone of optimal development. You may provide your child with challenge out of school, but if he is not getting excited about learning during those 6 hours of the school day, no amount of after school activities can make up for that. Many parents focus on the high school years, believing that elementary school is all about making friends and learning the basics. But it is in elementary school when kids make their minds up about school, whether it is a responsive and worthwhile institution. In our experience, by the end of 1st grade, strong opinions and ideas about self have already taken root. If you find yourself with a child who has lost interest in school because his intellectual needs are not being met, you might consider consulting with professionals. I would suggest starting with some of the gifted and talented magazines that are designed to support parents of gifted students. I recently found TEMPO, the Journal of the Texas Association for the Gifted & Talented. Great read. But there are magazines from gifted associations around the country. Do some research and subscribe. You only have one chance at childhood.

Blog on Alex's Library

Here is a link to a blog posted about the ribbon cutting ceremony for Alex's Library back in February. Thank you to KBE for posting it! http://blog.kbebuilding.com/making-a-difference-in-construction-one-brick-at-a-time/

Movement and Education

In my book reviews years ago, I discussed the scientific studies on movement and the brain. The idea that kids need to move to stimulate the brain has become so accepted in medical and educational circles that it lacks any significant punch these days. It is a common household understanding. I love to see educational environments that are child-centered, where the children work together to research and discover, to question and debate, and mostly, to move their bodies. In my weekly math class, I rely heavily on direction from IXL and SPECTRUM, but in the implementation of these programs, I get the kids to move. For example, after using the pizza pieces from a fractions game to demonstrate fractions, we all pretended to eat the pizza, pass the pizza fractions around, laugh and be silly. They didn't need to sit to do this, they didn't need to be quiet. Simple, I know. But the kids loved it. They wanted more. So, okay, more fractions. We did work in our SPECTRUM workbook, coloring in fractions with bright colors and relating the numbers to our daily lives. And then it was on to the kitchen fraction lesson. You don't need a kitchen to teach fractions, by the way, you just need food. Apples, oranges, bananas, tortillas, sticks of butter to name a few. Cut them up into fractions, eat or use a few, then design what you did on paper. A mini lab. The kids love this kind of hands on stuff, plus they get why we now say things like, Want a half an apple in your lunch today? In my writing class, we have started studying the infamous book report. We are doing this to help them read with purpose. I designed a fun book report questionnaire, which asks the kids to write down the title and author, the setting, plot and what the book means to them. There is space for them to write down important quotes as well. I gave them a large bubble in which to draw their setting. When the kids begin to understand what they are looking for in a book, they then read the book looking for these clues and important details. In our lesson yesterday, we used a simple story from Little Mermaid. The setting was so much fun to talk about, we decided to act it out, swimming all over the house, taking on different roles and using voices of our favorite characters. The kids loved it. Then they returned to add more details to their setting. Next week, when I ask them for the setting of their books, I know they will jump right in with details. They moved to understand the meaning and importance of setting. That movement is so intensely connected to the brain, it is hard to imagine teaching it in a static, seated environment. Seat work, a term I learned recently from an Atlantic article on preschool education, should play a very minor role in an elementary school education. So, get your kids moving. If they have homework, let them move before they sit down to tackle it. If you are introducing a new concept, figure out ways to allow your kids to act it out. Get those amazing brains moving-moving is crucial to learning.

Best Home Tools: Math and Beyond

The discussion around math tools is a hot topic for parents these days. There are so many programs out there and the quality of the math program in schools can vary widely. So, are there some tools that are fail proof, relatively easy to administer and challenging to your kids? Our answer is yes. We hope you will agree. Whether your child needs extra support because he is not meeting his grade level, exceeding his grade level, or just interested in math, these three tools are all you really need. 1). IXL.COM Although the program gives you a few free problems daily, you have to pay for this one. And believe me, it's worth it. Based on your state standards, the program offers fun, challenging, colorful exercises for each grade level. You, the parent, get a weekly update on how your child is progressing. If your child finished one grade level, you can move on to the next. An excellent program to supplement your school's program (and actually, a lot of schools are now using IXL in the classroom-hurray!) and keep your child engaged in the summer. For an additional cost, you can add their language arts, science and social studies programs too. My kids love those. 2) As you move into more challenging math work, and find you need a little lesson yourself to help guide your child, turn to KHANACADEMY.ORG. It's awesome! That's really all that needs to be said. It's free and offers AMAZING video to demonstrate everything from simple addition to calculating slope. 3) And finally, of all the workbooks out there, I love the SPECTRUM series. We use them for math, reading, writing, science and geography. But the list goes on and on. Again, this program is based on standards, so you know if your child has completed a certain grade level, he is ready to move on to the next one. At less than $10/book on Amazon, you really can't go wrong. My kids typically do a few lessons in the mooring after breakfast, when their minds are fresh and they are looking for something to do before school. I put the pile of books on our kitchen table and they choose what they like. Child-centered learning at home can do wonders to support your child at her specific academic level.

Ribbon Cutting: Alex's Library

We have big news at The Baby Alex Foundation! In mid February, we will be hosting a ribbon cutting of the first Alex's Library at the Farmington, CT NICU (extension of CT Children's Medical Center). This has been a 2+ year project, that began with a vision to provide a peaceful and inspiring place for families whose infants were in the neonatal intensive care unit. We spent 5+ month in the NICU when Alex was born. We tried to find success stories for children like Alex, who suffered a grade IV and grade III brain bleed. We really could not find any, and if you look to the March of Dimes for inspiration, you might be disappointed-we were. So, we designed a library, filled with inspirational books, right there inside the NICU. Parents don't need to go searching. They don't need the internet. They only need to walk a few steps and enter a soothing space where books on a variety of topics are there at their fingertips to inspire them to hold on, keep hope alive, and remember that this time in their lives is only temporary. Our grant provided copies of Alex's book, Alex's Start to Life (now in color) as a free handout to all. We had help in this project and are forever grateful to the work done by the runners at Team Making A Difference who ran the Hartford Marathon to raise nearly $10,000 to make this library possible. And a super contribution from Tecton Architects and KBE Building Corporation. It is amazing what can be done by people who dream big. Thanks to all! This ribbon cutting is a private ceremony, due to the sensitivity of its location inside the very busy NICU. We will have pictures up on our website for anyone who is interested. If you live in an area with a NICU that would be interested in adding an Alex's Library, please reach out to us to begin an inquiry process. For more info, see our website: www.babyalexfoundation.com.

Opportunity Knocks: Learning Lessons from Boredom

Are you kids bored? That's good. Don't give them a screen to occupy their time. Give them the gift of boredom. Whether they are bored in their classrooms, at home or when they visit their grandparents, embrace it. There was a time when I tried to protect my children from boredom, but this year, we are using boredom as a lesson in life and an opportunity to grow. Technology has put an end to periods of inactivity in our kids' lives, which means that much of the creative thoughts that go through a child's mind during periods of quiet and inactivity, have disappeared. Those brilliant, Aha moments or I've got it! moments will become dinosaurs if we put a screen in front of our children who complain, I'm bored. Alex complains of boredom a lot, especially in terms of school. He is gifted in many ways, and gifted children find the classroom extremely boring because of its rigidity. With the focus on test scores in public schools and the resulting lack of creative teaching in so many classrooms, your child may feel the same. But rather than run out the door with your child, talk to him or her about using boredom. If you need inspiration, look to some of the greatest minds on earth. Einstein, for example, was bored in school. In fact, he was kicked out because he asked too many questions and upset his teacher who didn't know the answers. But during those long periods of boredom in school, he thought. Alex has a tendency to drift off into deep thought. A good teacher will realize he is bored. She might have the insight to ask him what he is pondering. If she did, she would find some exceptional discoveries. At breakfast the other day, he was deep in thought. I asked him what was on his mind. He said he was trying to devise an instrument that could do a blood test by simply reading blood from outside the skin. In other words, an instrument that would prevent the need for a painful needle and blood draw. He was inspired by a recent article we read in the New Yorker about $1 paper microscopes that are changing science, particularly in the third world. And he was inspired because he needs to have his blood drawn again this month, a painful and dreaded trip to the doctor. So, let your kids be bored. Explain to them how they might embrace that time. Ask them what they are dreaming up when they are drifting off in thought. Don't be surprised if they lose interest in screens.

Beyond BookSmart: An Incredible Resource for Students and Families

I stumbled upon Beyond BookSmart this summer (www.beyondbooksmart.com), and found it to have been one of the greatest accidental discoveries I've made since we discovered eggs to be Alex's epilepsy control magic food. Beyond BookSmart is amazing and the tools they use to teach kids to manage their emotions, anxieties and academic tasks are effective, innovative and based on educational and neurological research. I loved their approach to learning so much, that I joined the team and am now an Executive Function Coach. I have begun to use some of their tools with Alex and Izzy and am impressed with the immediate positive results we have, even on small tasks such as studying for a spelling test. If you have a child, regardless of age, who is struggling in school, due to feeling overwhelmed with the workload and homework assignments, reading, essay writing, anxiety over test taking or any aspect of school, you would be wise to check out Beyond BookSmart. Coaches usually have an educational background, understand kids of all abilities and go through rigorous training before they ever meet a client. Coaches work with parents and students to gain insight into the issues at hand, and slowly introduce tools for better time management, emotional regulation, anxiety and academic progress. www.BeyondBookSmart.com.

Tennis

As our theme this summer is gross motor skills, Alex is playing as many sports as he can - tennis, running, swimming, biking (iCan Bike program), lacrosse and gymnastics (not all in the same week). Yesterday, in tennis camp, the kids learned to serve. I was really nervous that Alex was going to get frustrated because serving means launching the ball with his lefty hand. I didn't think he could do it. But that is the beauty of having someone else teach your child--there are no preconceived instructor doubts about your child's ability, and it has been my experience that most kids will rise pretty close to expectation. I typically run during camp time, but try to catch the beginning and end. I was amazed yesterday when I sat down to watch. There was Alex, launching the tennis ball over his head using his lefty hand, and hitting the ball with his racquet for a lovely little serve. If your child has weakness in either side, try playing tennis. There are so many opportunities to strengthen both sides, and there is something about whacking a ball around that is incredibly therapeutic, for the parents too.

iCan Shine Program

If you have a child with disabilities, check out iCan Shine. This is an amazing organization. This week Alex has been learning to ride a 2-wheeled bike with iCan Shine, in their iCan Bike program. It has been amazing to watch. They use a roller system on the back tire that they taper as the kids gain balance. By Friday, most of the kids are riding their own bikes! Wow, this is awesome. We have been struggling to teach Alex to ride a bike for years, with horrible results. He was at the point where he simply refused to even get on the bike. But now he rides with ease. For kids who can't quite master 2 wheels, the program offers a cool bike handle for the back of the bike for parents to grab in need. We are adding that to Alex's bike today, because he has trouble getting on and off and needs that support. Grabbing a handle is a lot easier that trying to support his bike or body-the handle will save your back. Watch a demo from this week. http://www.wfsb.com/clip/11755809/students-in-milford-learn-how-to-ride-bikes

Summer Skills

It's summer again, our family's favorite time of year. We are back from our incredible trip across the country and looking forward to summer fun. For children with disabilities, summer is an excellent time to focus on one or two weaknesses (needs, challenges...). Creating daily rituals and summer camp classes to strengthen those weak areas is a great way to focus the summer activities. For example, although Alex's left hand is stronger and more capable, it is still significantly weaker than his right arm, which is now noticeably longer and bigger. Last summer we put him through a camp designed to strengthen that left arm and hand, while casting his right one to keep it immobile. This summer, we have chosen not to do the summer camp, but to focus on strengthening that left arm. So, our activities are all about strengthening left. Gymnastics camp, swimming, lacrosse camp and pushups are some of the activities we will use to work that left side. Of course Alex still needs work on his fine motor skills, but there is only so much advice to "work lefty" that Alex can tolerate in a day, and so we have made a choice to focus on the large muscles. Alex's personal goal is to run the 3 miler in our annual race, The Run Baby Run Baby Ultra in August. He has started a daily running log, and is slowing working up to running 3 miles without walking. This is a huge goal for him, as the heat and intensity of the exercise cause him headaches and exhaustion, but we let him work at his own pace, set his own goals, and write down his daily progress toward them. Finally, Alex is finally tall enough to participate in the iCanBike program, which teaches children with disabilities how to ride a bike (something we have been unable to do), using a weighted fishtail. And so, in the middle of August, we take one week to focus on one goal, learning to ride a bike. And while Alex is in camp, I'll be outside with Izzy to get her on 2 wheels as well. And of course, every day includes Alex's sugar free ice cream, homemade, creamy and delicious. We love summer.

Izzy's Bog: All About Horses

At Zion, I went horseback riding through Zion and I liked crossing the stream on horseback. We also went horseback riding in Palo Duro, Texas and in Colorado. In Colorado, wild horses came up to us while we were riding. It was so fun!

Alex's Blog: Zion and Capitol Reef

When we were in Bryce Canyon we went on a hike across Bryce Canyon, and saw the hoodoos of Bryce Canyon. When we were in Capitol Reef, I went for my first sunrise run with mom. We also had a mindful glimpse of school in the past at Capitol Reef, and had strawberry rhubarb pie, homemade at the old homestead of the original founders.

The Poorest Town in America

Our focus over the last two months of traveling the USA has been trail running. We have run in some of the most beautiful places in the world. And although our gaze is set on the mountains and trails, something else keeps screaming at us and redirecting our attention: the profound poverty in America. Yesterday, we traveled through the single most impoverished town in the country, and it was the most shocking poverty I’ve ever seen. Even in the remotest, most impoverished Third World communities where I’ve lived and traveled, there were signs of life and hope. There were people engaged in productive work, preparing food and caring for children. There were businesses of some kind, even if they were only small rebottled Coke stands out of the back of a corrugated steel hut. But not in Pine Ridge, South Dakota. The scene was horrific. A handful of shops, boarded up and breaking down. A few dozen adults, high on alcohol and/or drugs, hanging around, lying around, their gaze unfocused. Graffiti everywhere, with one large message “death to the white man” scrawled across a building. Pine Ridge is a dry town. But a stone’s throw away is Whiteclay, Nebraska. According to some stats, there are 4 liquor stores and only 12 inhabitants in Whiteclay, where 12,500 cans of beer are sold every day. Pine Ridge is home to Lakota Native Americans, and located a few miles from the site of the Battle of Wounded Knee, where the U.S. Cavalry massacred 100’s of Lakota. Historical markers inform travelers of the events of years ago, but it’s the visions of today’s unfortunate souls that will impart a greater impression and lasting memory, although the two are undoubtedly connected.

The Parks

After staying in a couple of KOA campgrounds as we first got our bearings in the RV, Big Bertha, we decided to avoid them wherever possible. We soon found out that most state and national parks and forests have drinkable water, showers, bathrooms, and some even have electrical hookups for the RV too. But the great benefits of staying in a park are that there are usually trails for running, you are closer to nature and farther away from other people. While I admit that staying in an RV is nothing like the “real” camping we used to do as kids where we hiked our stuff and tents up a mountain, found a flat spot to set up, went trout fishing and then cooked over an open fire, slept on the hard ground next to my snoring brother and woke up with icicles hanging from the top of the tent or a wet sleeping bag from the previous night’s rain, it is just the right amount of camping for our family. We do occasionally sleep in a tent, but the older I get the more I need my pillow (and my sleep!). So, here we are. The state parks have been incredible. We have stayed in them in Mississippi, Arkansas, Utah, two in Colorado, South Dakota, Wisconsin and Illinois. Each one has offered peace and quiet, bathrooms, trails, playgrounds and coyotes.

The Badlands, SD

As we started our trip homeward, we headed north and spent a few days in the Badlands, curious to know how the area received its intimidating name and interested in experiencing trail running through this fascinating landscape. We drove through miles and miles of rolling grassland in northern Colorado, depressed and disgusted at the inhumane cattle farms that packed cows side by side in putrid conditions. We then spent the night in a lovely state park that appeared out of nowhere, and had a nice run on well groomed flat trails. We then continued through the most depressing human habitation in the middle of some of the most gorgeous rolling terrain in southern South Dakota, to finally arrive at the outcropping of crumbling mountains and deep washes of the Badlands. By the time we arrived, I was feeling queazy. The poor cows, the hopeless people, the run down shacks with piles of deserted cars and trash and mangy dogs left us all in quiet contemplation. At what point was all hope lost? Was anger and resentment and disappointment and sorrow passed down through generations, thus crippling a culture’s future? I contemplated these thoughts for 12 miles as I loped, alone, over baked and peeling clay, up and over crumbling towers, down narrow paths of grass that threatened rattlesnakes at every dip. The sky was cold and gray. As I looked around I had the feeling I was running on the moon. Some unusual characters mingled with the terrain. One man was wedged into a crack in the rocks. He looked alive. I didn’t stop to ask. Another man, dressed head to toe in desert camouflage, with a desert camouflage backpack and rolled up sleeping gear, hunched along the path. I felt uncomfortable. As this was a national park, I didn’t have my trail dog Harry Potter with me (dogs are banned from the trail), and I felt a bit exposed. I ran quickly. I was relieved to finally look up and see Izzy’s smiling face in the distance, waiting for me, looking out the RV window from the trailhead where we were parked. She had told me not to listen to my earbuds while running so that I might hear the rattlers’ rattles, and I had compromised by using only one earbud. Izzy, always nervous when I go running, looked as relieved as I felt when we spotted each other. I felt satisfied that I gained some small understanding of where the Badlands got its name. I showered and we headed eastward, toward home.

Alex's Blog: Zion National Park

Zion National Park: Now I want to tell you about Zion. Oh, the horseback ride we did was great and it was lead by real cowboys! Although there was a cowboy who was grouchy. Now, we also had shuttle rides around Zion National Park and completed our ranger booklet and got a ranger badge.

The Value Tree Blog

Someone asked me for The Value Tree blog site the other day, and here it is in case you are looking for more blog reading...www.thevaluetree.blogspot.com. THANK YOU for reading, and feel free to comment, as your comments are not publicly shared.

Grand Canyon-Bright Angels Trail

The Grand Canyon is truly breathtaking. It looks like a backdrop for a movie, painted in the distance. Coming here with the kids has been a blast. The Canyon is really developed, which means that it is easy to get around on the shuttles with the kids, attend awesome ranger programs, work toward ranger badges and run the rim trail. The IMAX movie on the park is excellent too. The trails are BRUTAL! I have always wanted to run the Rim to Rim race, which starts on one rim, runs down and across and back up to the other rim, and then back again. I sort of did half that. I ran down Bright Angels Trail all the way down to the Colorado Rover, then across the bridge to Phantom Ranch, and then back again. I started to peter out about 3 miles from the top of the rim, then really petered out at the 1 mile point when the trail goes almost straight up on switchbacks. I refilled water three times at stops. In total, over 20 miles with over 5000 feet down and then 5000 feet back up again. AMAZING views of the canyon, nice interaction with the mules taking people for multi-day rides, and changes in scenery, like the Indian Gardens which are like a tropical oasis suddenly popping up in the middle of the desert, that made the run exciting. Sore today.