Creating Happiness

The other day I made an accidental purchase. While in the book store, I picked up Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project and skimmed through it. At first glance, it seemed self-indulgent (on the author's part) and long. I wasn't really interested in reading about someone's 12 month project to find happiness. I really just wanted a book that might give me a few basic steps to appreciating every day. It has been a hard winter. But somehow the book found its way into my pile of other books, and when I got home and discovered it next to my bed, I figured I might as well read it. For anyone looking to improve a life, take it from fine to good, from seasonally affected to "Bring it on, rain..." I recommend it. For parents, I really, really recommend it. For parents of sick children, it is a must. In fact, it is going to be part of the book list for The Baby Alex Foundation's Alex's Libraries which we are setting up in hospitals in CT this year. The book is filled with some shocking statistics (A 30% increase in one spouse's happiness boosts the other spouse's happiness, while a drop in one spouse's happiness drags the other down.), great insights (when I made the effort to reach out for them, I found that the ruby slippers had been on my feet all along), inspiring quotes (the days are long, but the years are short), and a plan for focusing on one aspect of happiness each month (January: Boost Energy; February: Remember Love...). The author, Gretchen, is looking to make her good life happier, maybe because of middle life malaise, or maybe just as the next challenge to an otherwise incredibly accomplished life. In our household these days, we are all working on happiness. Alex reminds me often to smile more. Sometimes he gives me a hug because I look unhappy at breakfast. Izzy tells me point blank that I do not demonstrate enough happiness when I spend the afternoons with her. They both complain about Erik being tired all the time (the poor guy). I read the book in a few days and immediately set to work to extract what might work for us. Every family is different, and every family has different needs when it comes to focusing on happiness. What stood out for me is the idea that you simply can't afford to wait to be happy. No matter what the circumstances, to truly appreciate every day, you need to work a little, and honestly, life is way too short to wait for the perfect moment to find happiness. Once you work a little, you find the happiness you desire, and realize it was there all the time. After a while, it takes less work. For me, it is simply a matter of smiling more often, so that the kids see what I feel: happiness at being with them. There is no place I would rather be. I didn't used to smile while making bacon at 5:30am, but now I do. We are all happier.