On Kindness

For the past two days, I have been teaching kindness to Alex and Izzy's preschool classes. Following the workshops, someone told me that the public school teachers complain constantly that all they do is discipline their students and that kids are just not kind to each other. I specifically designed my value-based language arts curriculum to address these problems with discipline, which boils down to a lack of character. I firmly believe that if the schools spent the first part of every school day teaching values, they would significantly reduce their discipline problems and increase the acts of kindness they witness on a daily basis. Students who live by good values create a strong and self-reliant character, and do not need to bully. Our quote for kindness comes from Plato, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." Our classwork includes role playing, where one student has a problem and the other student shows support and kindness. In the end, they are required to make physical contact, whether it is by means of a handshake, hug or pat on the back. The kids connect, and they love it. I have been immensely impressed with my little 3, 4 and 5 year olds. They participate wholeheartedly and go home with an understanding of the values I teach. The homework for kindness requires the students to perform at least one deliberate act of kindness (hugs for Mommy, a love letter to Daddy, a nice deed for a neighbor) and then to draw a picture of themselves doing this good deed. If they can write, they may add text. Many people comment about how kind Alex and Izzy are to each other. They hug and kiss, they say "I love you" multiple times a day, they give out compliments to each other. People ask me how I ended up with such kind children. I always respond, "I force them to be kind". Even a small act of un-kindness gets discipline. I pick my battles and this one is a battle I fight. Values--all of them--are learned. In the beginning, they may be a bit forced, because they may not come naturally to children, but in the end (like when your kids go off to college), the values will be a part of their character, and living by these values will be as natural as if your children had been born knowing them. Spend a few minutes each day reinforcing the importance of kindness this week with your children. Seeing them do something nice for someone else may give you some comfort from the events of the past week. We are all mourning for Boston. As my grandmother, Mimi, use to say when she was feeling sad, "It's time to do something nice for someone." Show kindness and help your children grow into kind human beings.