Sleep as a Measure of Happiness

As Alex grew more stressed out at his montessori school, his sleep patterns started to change. As we look back on the time period, we realize Izzy's sleep patterns were changing too. Izzy is incredibly self-confident and not the emotional sponge that Alex is, and so we usually feel no matter what happens, she will bounce back. Which is to say, we should be more attentive to stresses in her life, because we missed this one. For about a month, neither child was sleeping well, and both had stopped napping. Although many 2 and 3 year olds stop napping in a completely normal way, it was not normal for ours. Rather than nap, our kids dragged themselves unhappily through the day and had fitful nights of half sleep. We tried everything we could think of to get them to nap, including driving them in the car, taking them in the baby jogger, etc., but both were agitated. I thought they were growing out of their naps. I now realize they were stressed out. During our vacation, they started napping for brief periods. And now, they are back to their normal routine, napping at least 2 hours every after lunch. They wake up happy, they sleep well at night.

Last night Erik commented that it had been weeks since he had seen our children as happy as they were when he came home from work. We picked Erik up at the train station and Alex couldn't wait for his dad to hear him clap out the words of Frosty the Snowman. This is not something we taught him, but something he picked up on himself from reading the Frosty story from a book that plays the tune (and which he has not heard in about a year because the battery died, but which probably came to mind on Monday when it snowed--he can't wait for real snow). Everyone had to be quiet in the car while he clapped, one clap for each syllable of the song. Izzy joined in, not quite on cue, but she tries to be part of everything Alex does. Incredibly, Alex clapped out the song exactly as it would have been sung. We then listened to Frosty on a CD I purchased that afternoon, and Alex complained that it did not go the way the book did--the lyrics were different. Incredible that he recognized it. The rest of the night proceeded in this vein, two happy children.

Our experiment in school has been a painful lesson for all of us. I knew Alex would be stressed out by a large class size, but when I visited the class last year, there were only a handful of children in the class. This year, the director allowed 19 toddlers into the class. I was nervous about this situation, but thought we should give it a try, and there was one wonderful teacher both kids immediately attached themselves to. Although we were never crazy about this school, we thought it would be a good introduction for our kids, and how could 3 hours a day be so that detrimental? Well, we found out. The kids' favorite teacher quit after 5 weeks because she didn't like the way the school was run, and our kids never quite found an emotional replacement. If the school and teachers are not right, any amount of time can be detrimental. But, we are adapting and because the kids are showing obvious signs of better health, we know we have done the right thing. Their nap patterns alone tell a detailed story.